Alberto, a reader of my website posted a very thought provoking comment. I really appreciated it and thought that I would form a new post with my comments. Alberto asks the question on my about page: if love is the basis of our existence, then why is mother nature and evolution full of suffering and violence? Thank you very much for such a great question!
Looking at it from the physical perspective I can see that in the beginning of our universe out of matter came life, and as we became more complex creatures, we developed complex emotions that helped us to survive. The complex emotions that helped our ancestors survive in the savanna and jungle are those of fear, desire and love. The monkey that sat on the ground enjoying the beautiful sunrise without worries got eaten by the tiger, and the monkey that was scared for his life, filled with sexual desire and loved his children desperately, this is our great great great … grand parent. So why do we love, because it help keep our children alive. It’s no fluke that babies are so darn cute! That is why there exists fear, desire, jealousy, even hatred – they served a purpose in the unfolding of our physical beings. Our powerful brains overrun with thoughts also evolved for the same reason – to help us survive better. But these emotions which were once gifts of survival are now the cause of our greatest suffering.
That is the view of physical evolution, what about consciousness? From the perspective of mind and awareness, matter itself arose out of the ground of consciousness. But until there was a complex enough form for the consciousness to know itself, it remained somewhat dormant. The wise sages of the past and the present (because they still exist) were the first to become self aware – aware of their own nature as consciousness, one with the universe.
So to try to answer your question Alberto, I believe that love is simply an emotion that we experience, part of our array of emotions, and this experience of love is the closest thing that we can come to describe or relate with the great oneness that is everything. When we catch a glimpse of this cosmic oneness in either meditation, shamanic journey or entheogenic experience, it is most similar to our experience of love. So we call it that. But I think it is more than that, it just is. In the Buddhist Dzogchen tradition, they call it the great perfection, everything is completely perfect as it is.
From this point of view, even the deep suffering that beings experience is seen as perfect as it is. That might sound harsh, but if one can realize this truth in actuality then the suffering ceases to be. But most of us (humbly including myself) fail to recognize this great perfection and remain caught up in the swirling fantasy, chasing happiness which is always just around the corner.
So the question of why do we suffer, why do we have all this baggage of confusing emotions, for myself it can be answered by looking at evolution. The only ‘why’ in evolution is: that which is successful continues. Fear and anger are competitive emotions and love and compassion are cooperative. But all of them helped us survive so we got ‘em in us.
Another way I like to look at evolution is that it is simply karma. As I attempt to learn more about what karma is, the more my definition of it grows and grows. In the west our understanding of karma is generally: if I do something bad, it will come back to me. The most basic definition of karma is cause and effect. It is my growing understanding that karma is in fact everything. What is evolution but a very long chain of cause and effect. Everything we see, including us, is a result of myriad causes and effects, nothing more. And while we cannot change the karma of our human bodies, and our basic emotions, we can decide how we work with our minds. We can work with that karma.
I could probably go on and on about this, but I think I’ll stop here for now 
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Señor,I did not say that “Love is the basis of existence”,but what I said was:”Love seems to be an anomaly rather than anything else”,and also that, in the evolutionary process the “purpose” (if there is such a thing) of Love is ambiguous,to say the least,as violence seems to be the main ingredient in nature’s relentless way “foward” (and apparently it is not clear if we are going foward).
Of course,lots of people would like to think that Love is the main ingredient in nature,and granted,it would be nice,but to me it does not look like that.However,I am rather astonished,to say the least,by NDEs and the apparent experience of Unconditional Love at the moment of death,my question is:”Why so much Love all of a sudden”?
I will let you express yourself and thank you for listening and responding to these rants of mine!
Cordially
Alberto
Oh, what a lovely response Deryk. I think this has helped sort out some stuff for me–including issues that seem similar to yours, Alberto. Two kinds of loves–emotional love that’s a product of our emotional system (I see neuropeptides and the molecules of emotion and so forth), and then that second “love” that doesn’t come from our brain/nervous sytem at all, but from us just feeling or somehow connecting with the actual nature of matter itself–the material that makes up our brains and so forth. If I hear you right then, evolution would have fashioned the brain which produces anger, hate, fear, terror etc. as well as an emotion within us (advantageous for child-rearing and pair-bonding and who knows what else) which so closely mimics the deepest down “oneness” thing that we’ve given both the same name: “love”! I love it. And of course they’re not the same at all. “Emotional love” fixates on one thing/one person, buffets us, grips us, leaves us addicted, in withdrawal etc. Whereas oneness just is. We get “one-ed” by the lunch lady’s smile, or by the stillness of a sunset, by a taste.. etc.
Yay Oneness!
I thank you humbly, Deryk, for an insight that’s surely a product of the one world we all are.
Thanks both for the comments.
Alberto, I agree that love is only a part of nature, and there are many more destructive emotions. From the buddhist perspective, all of this is temporary confusion, (as opposed to original sin) similar to clouds obscuring the sun. We act with anger, greed, desire and jealousy because we are ignorant of our true nature, which is totally pure and awake. I think that at the time of death we reconnect with this awake purity, which is an unconditional love, not the eros type love we usually experience.
Kevin, when i was going through a tough end of a relationship a number of years ago, I thought that i was in love with this woman, however when it ended, i was in so much pain, I thought ‘how can this be love if it is so much pain’. Then after listening to some beautiful talks by Thich Nhat Hanh, I realized that what I was experiencing was more attachment disguised as love, and that true love in unrequited, there is a giving with no expectation of anything in return. that was a big eye opener for me.
Hi Deryk,one question at this time: If we accept that there is an evolutionary process underway,then this “ignorance of our true nature” must have an evolutionary purpose,don’t you think?
Alberto
It is beyond me to attempt to imagine what started it all, but at some point there was a primordial division – maybe the oneness noticed itself. and from there the duality continued, and evolution began. Perhaps in a form of big bang, who knows. In this way, all that we see in our world, all a product of evolution, including ourselves, is fundamentally rooted in ignorance. There cannot be evolution without dualism such as male and female, self and other, friend and foe. Even the fundamental particles have their opposites.
So is there a purpose to this ignorance? I have no idea. Why did the separation happen in the first place? Why do remain ignorant of our fundamental unity?
Usually i think that it just happened and it is our lot and there is no real purpose and reason for our reality. However once in a while I get the paranoid-like feeling that our consensus reality is a grand training ground for us to learn to be good and caring, and there are higher dimensional beings who have created it all and sent us here. These moments of ‘paranoia’ pass and i come back to a simpler view, but I can’t help but be fascinated by them.
It seems to me that,here in the West,we are obsessed searching for “purpose”,is it the same in the Buddhist tradition?,my impression is that Buddhism does not search for purpose,but centers in compassion and putting an end to suffering,is this,in your view ,a correct vision of Buddhism?
I would add that human suffering comes about from the labels of bad and good we attach to events and things. Someone dying is not a bad thing, for the person who passed they are, supposedly, reunited with the whole, it is only the form that is lost, however for friends left behind it is bad, we are attached to the form that was the person. I’ve come to realize it is selfish to mourn those who have passed, or to feel sorrow for those who are passing. It rather should be a celebration of life, coming full circle, passing onto the next step.
I would also add that perhaps the purpose of our ignorance is that we may reach oneness/enlightenment/nirvana/awakening. Animals act instinctually, they only have true nature, but not awareness of mortality, at the human level we have ego, we become aware of our mortality. Osho suggests the reason we cannot remember anything prior to 3 or 4 years old is due to not yet having an ego. We are still animal in nature. This ego offers us a chance to transcend into heaven in this human life, and free ourselves of Samsara. Escaping Samsara is the goal, I dont think it possible, without first having an ego and experiencing dualism, to realize the One.
A stray thought regarding your statement that “It’s no fluke that babies are so darn cute!” Of course, in any objective sense, they’re not. Dumb-looking little things shitting all over themselves and pissing on you when you hold ‘em. More precisely, and supporting your basic point, we’re wired to be blind to their idiocy and the apparent absence of wisdom, strength, or beauty in ‘em, and to see them as so cute as to inspire protection. And of course that instinct is strongest with regard to our own: other people’s babies really are underwhelming, but ours are miracles.
Peter – I couldn’t agree more.
Andre – Ken Wilber talks about a pre-trans falacy, similar to what you are mentioning, that in the begining we have no ego, then we have an ego, then we can possibly transcend it. The pre (before ego) seems quite similar to the Trans (beyond ego) but they are not the same. The pre stage has no discernment while the transcended stage includes discernment/intelligence and goes beyond to wisdom.